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Ask elGooso666

elgoososixsixsix@hotmail.com

            It's been awhile since I've written anything, but as always, I come back because of you, that's right you, the Kids. I can see it in your heart that you need the knowledge that only ElGooso666 can give you, the children. You may be asking yourself now "What knowledge kind sir are you going to bestow upon thee. Perchance may it be another crumpet of knowledge in the ilk of a follow up on t he D & D metal article?".  Uh, no children that was so 3 months ago. We here at the superfashionInstitute look only forward and not to the past. If you're looking for retro-banality don't come near cracker or else youre getting the hammer of justice to the piercings. As a prelude to my help column, I'd like to give you the kids some advice-So onto the column...

Advice Gooso666 has already given people or Things that people should do to avoid the pratfall of being considered L7.

1.      There is no fault in one dying one's hair, but there is fault in going blonde. There is no excuse for going blonde children, none. Yes, bleaching is good to do if one is to, say, dye their hair blue, green or whatever but the blonde is off limits.

2.  This one is for the kids that go into the pit. There's a thing called imagination, make up your own moves and quit stealing them from NoFashionLou.

3.  Retro in moderation kids. Trust me if you actually lived in the 80's you wouldn't like it so much. We here at the superfashionInstitute will get out the fashion shotgun and blow the rose colored glasses off your face for even a mere mention of wanting to be around in that time period.

4.  There's no greater an investment for an ugly guy then for him to get into a scene. You may be asking yourself why, but seriously, think about it. 3/4 of the people in "the scene" that look the part would be ugly if they hadn't been lucky enough to stumble on the in look of the moment. Take that negative (you being ugly) and turn it into a positive (trend jumping into that new look as soon as you find out about it.) Follow my advice, you unattractives out there and you too can be getting what the astronauts drink in space. Tang.

5.  Honestly, think to yourself when an adverse situation comes about "What would Gooso666 do?" I do this all the time.

6.      Guys we know why youre writing poetry and it's not because you are sensitive: it's because you want to get laid, which is all right. If thats the way you get those fine (or even unfine) biddies to drop their panties, more power to you. Just don't come around us when we tell you why you're doing it and say that youd never do that and you feel women shouldnt be sex objects. We're onto you, you emo-misogynists!

 

Well Kids, I am going to cut this one short, as I am sure that there is someone out there right now needing my help. So there you go Kids, just some of what you will come to expect to hear from me when giving you advice. Nothing but the damn truth.

 

 

                        Send any  questions to elgoososixsixsix@hotmail.com

elGooso666 rules the pit.