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toomuchfashionD's Girlie Fashion Tips. umm, "girlie" might not be the word, but still...

hey miss THANG

toomuchfashionD gives the ladies a dose....

    Ok ladies, here are some tips to give you an idea of what you're doing wrong.  Dont worry its not too late to clean up your act and fix your MOC profile.  You can still be that XscenestersuperstarX that you've always dreamed you'd be.

Be A Coat Hanger @ Shows: (if you dont follow these first five you're screwed)

1.      Ok girls, stay in the back where you belong, at every show its crucial to look your best to maintain your place in the scene (at least in Syracuse). We cant have any black eyes now can we.

2.      Hold your man's glasses, sweater and scarf while he tears it up in the pit.

3.      Your job is to look good and serve your man.

4.      You have no place in the pit, unless its to tend to that bloody pulp that was your emo boyfriend.

5.      Between sets, follow him around like the lost puppy you are.

6.      Be that couple thats nauseatingly cute and smootchie.

 7.   Exchange vegan recipes with your fellow coat hangers because you're cooking him dinner after the show and every night after that.

Fashion Tips:

  1. Don't eat. You must stay fit, especially when your man weighs 105 wet. Being vegan and straight edge is a scenesterly way to do this. (Guys Hate Fat Chicks)
  2. Wear skirts (the shorter the better) and maryjane platform shoes.  Ladies, don't forget your studded glitter belts!
  3. Black jelly bracelets.
  4. Get a sleeve on one or both arms. (it doesn't really matter what of, but it should include stars, X's and flowers)
  5. Make sure your pants have a healthy 6" roll kickin'.
  6. Superfashion nerd frame glasses are a must.  The librarian look is #1 on the hot list for this fall/winter.
  7. If you need to go in the pit, you must rock the tube top. I think its a new law or something.
Your Hair: Short and spiky or winged out in back, long in front. Or you can do it up Betty style.  If you must dye your hair (and we all know you MUST), make it black, red or blonde. (Punk is dead, no green hair and for the Love-of-Pete NO technicolor dreads) A wise man once told me Kool-Aid is for drinking, not your hair.

Every Day Tips:

      1.  Its called bros before hos, learn it, like it, live by it and with it.

2.  If he's in a band, hump him. If he's the singer, he can put it in the butt.  And always remember to tip the merch guy.

  1. Everything you do should be for the team.
  2. You can never have enough skulls or stars.

toomuchfashion No-Nos:

  1. Don't be Yoko.
  2. No Deep discussions about the scene (peeps will think youre a snotty bitch) but name-drop your 'lil heart out, cuz the more peeps you know, the cooler you are.  By "know" we mean "slept with".
  1. No more than 2 fashion belts at one time.
  2. No DIY type clothes, HELLO! That only works for guys.
Unless you're actually blue collar (yourself), dont try to rock the butt pocket bandana.

you may send hatmail to toomuchfashionD or superfashionchic here: superfashionchic@hotmail.com  be sure to include a pic and a brief description of yourself for Goose, semifashionEJ and nofashionLou.