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superfashion Dating Advice for the Kids

All entries are submissions, so don't try to come down on superfashionchic for some Kid telling it like it is. (Actually the thing about Morrissey was all me, but i just had to clear that up)

Larry hated Melissa's phone sex career...

After putting a plea for submissions on the guestbook, we garnered a decent enough response from YOU, the Kids.  Dating is forever beyond so many of us, so superfashionchic is stepping in to help out.  Remember that music and fashion all lead to the same end.  Interaction with your preferred choice of warm body, and some good times.  By "good times" we mean "lip wrasslin' "and "trying to remember birthdays", etc.

don't scratch for at least the first 3 dates

-so  you've just hooked  up w/  that special random girl. Here is a tried and tested  way to make her remember  you: (now remember this works best if done directly in front of a set of stairs, and having a bed to crash in upstairs helps this alot) Kick her in the ass and run to bed without saying another word. If properly executed this will get her asking your friends about you for weeks  to come. Remember kids any impression is better then none and this in itself will keep you on her mind for awhile.

-Don't call out her siters name as you are putting in the butt. This can be awkward but not nearly as akward as if her sister runs in the room when you do this because she heard her name being called.

-Unless you are with Heather, never ask if you can change the word fist from a noun to a verb.

-Always be courteous enough to pretend you like their music.

-Wipe your ass thoroughly. ANY night may be the first time she goes "bungin"

-take her out and buy her things!!!!!!

-play her fav song when she is depressed and then dance and make an ass out of your self just for her!

-don't spit in your ex-girlfriend's new boyfriends shoe especially if you are trying to win her back.

-give her flowers randomly but not like every month.

-remember not to talk TOO much about how much you like the Smiths, this makes some girls wonder, even though Morrissey is ASEXUAL and all you might wanna do is hang out with him and Gabe, the roadie for Dead Low Tide, and drink 40s.  In your underpants.

Erica knew Gorehammer weren't for her...

-Pay for shit, someone had to say it. not like a coffee or a pack of cigs. i mean buy us a chainsaw.

-CDs are like refugees, release them to their homeland if you are no longer with someone. There are very few instances this does not allow for.

-Fight Club is a perfect 'together' movie. You get Brad Pitt and we get to imagine we are just as cool as Tyler.

-Call us Tyler Durden, just once, in bed, plllllease.

-Our friends are very important to us, yours aren't. Your friends are catty and annoying. Ours are simple and endearing. IF they like you it becomes much easier and then we don't have to hang out with your friends.

-Snickering at kids who play Magic: The Gathering or Dungeons & Dragons just is not allowed. They know what kender are and you you should too missy!

-You may pick out 2 outfits a month for us. That means if you veto a shirt you have used up one outfit. Surpassing that alotted number of outfits means we get something VERY special that night; like we get absolute control over what movie we watch [and you have to pretend to like it].

-Mentioning old boyfriends is like saying you are a conservative Republican in Zebtron's presence. DON'T do this! [but we can talk about old girl friends and how they fucked with our heads, constantly]

-Pork rines... learn to love them.

-Accept mix tapes instead of a Valentines day, birthday or anniversary card. Cards are a buck and a half, tapes are less and more meaningful. NO NO... PREFER TAPES to cards in all situations. Just accept this ok?

-Never call anything cute. This word does not register with us. Say you like '_____' and we can get the hint that you want us to waste even more of our money on a relationship that will undoubtedly be dissipated in 6 month time anyway.    -OR let us say 'Chainsaws sure are cute'.

-We pretend we like your cat, pretend that you like comic books.

-Transformers, Volton, Robotech and GI Joe hold sacred meaning to us. To insult them is to insult the very fiber that makes our muscles and the blood that flows in our veins.

-Beer does not taste nasty. OK it does but we BOTH know something that tastes worse and you have no problem putting that down. So if when hanging out don't turn your nose up at it. [sxe is only a SLIGHT exscuse on this one]

-That emo skirt does not make you look fat, being fat makes you look fat. Hit the gym or don't complain to us.

-start dating that loser from three years ago again and make sure that he cheats on you so you can scream at him for half an hour straight before finally telling him you hate him... if you choose this route, be sure to choose the ex least worth ever talking to again in the first place.


-wait for a band from downstate to come up for only three days and get something going with a member that you aren't really going to see all to often


-no suckin knobs on the 1st date.


-let him listen to his music in the car when he is driving


-Making beastility films with his dog is USUALLY a faux-pas

-More to come, if you wanna send us some more advice, go right on ahead, superfashionchic is about helping out the Kids.