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946 Crucial Grind BBQ. Yes, we said Crucial.

look at my brain!

Grindcore? BBQ?  Irradiated Beef?  We went, we saw and we played with an inner tube.

the house on the hill

The 946 is in Plattsburgh, NY.  It's a house outside of town with an attached garage.  What makes it so RAD is that the Kids that live there host a plethora of DIY shows and often host touring bands from labels such as Revalation, Relapse, Victory etc.  They just open their home up to whoever shows up and sometimes host way more shows than they probably should.  The town folk have gotten upset with their loud neighbors, but are powerless because the 946 know the noise laws and they poised themselves for a great venture of summer fun and tinnitus- the first annual Crucial Grind BBQ -seven hours of fast chaos and kids milling around w/veggie burgers.  This was enough to get the superfashionTeam out in force, semifashionEJ even drove from Jersey with his bro Omar to see the madness.  And what madness followed....
...So we roll up on this event in nofashionLou's highfashionJetta: nofashionLou at the wheel, Goose rockin' the shotgun and myself in the back.  We climb out of the car and are promptly welcomed by blast beats a plenty and the gagging screams of some band from Montreal.  They might have been singing in french, nobody really could tell but they were rocking it out and that was pretty rad.


glorg blah sreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetch

So shortly after we saw that band, we discovered the motherfucking Raddest Thing Ev-Er: this fucking grindcore innertube in the yard at the 946.  We all know what kids at grindcore shows are like: bored as shit.  The shenannigans were both abundant and flourid (I don't think i spelled that right).  I all hopped into that comfy junk and was playing, happy as a kid in a Gap ad, when nofashionLou kicked the tube and seriously made me punch myself in the face, due to a chain reaction of black rubber.  Funny how black rubber always leads to people getting smacked around.  Nonetheless human ring toss, rolling around, bouncing around, sitting around and drinking around all happened with that inner tube.  I even degraded John Slayer by getting him to jump through it like twice (it ruled, and for a kid that's pretty big, he's relatively nimble).  THE BEST PART was that Kids actually skipped bands to  retain the tube rights.  True till death or until there is a better time to be had.  Umm, so actually no news there.

Prepare to be IRRADIATED

So after some much needed frolic in the yard, distorted electronic bursts begain to eminate from the garage.  Those in the know knew that IT was beginning.  Irradiated Beef.  God Damn.  The faithful gathered in the garage, where a lone drumset with a sampler and a small rack of processing gear sat unattended, producing an earsplitting drone, alive with chaos.  It totally was super loud, bro.  We waited for about 10 minutes in the garage and, as nofashionLou pointed out, nobody wanted to be the one that "wussed out" and left because of the noise. 
Finally a small figure dressed like a cow and wearing a gas mask emerged, took his place behind the drums and layed into a sonic assault greatly unlike that band Thrice.  It was greatly unlike just about everything except Throbbing Gristle, if Throbbing Gristle had blast beats.  None of us will be the same.  Ever.  SemifashionEj and his Bro Omar totally were bummed that they missed this, and they won't be the same either.

usually we do this IN DA PIT

Ummm, so then we hung out in the yard and ate some food.  The vegetarian food took awhile to get there, which didn't seem to bother nofashionLou, fey poet carnivore that he is.  This really just lead to more time chilling in the inner tube and listening to the Ramones.  Actually this might have been great for everyone, because the Ramones fucking rock.  SemifashionEJ and his bro Omar showed up right around this time and were very sad that they missed Irradiated Beef, for about 2 minutes.  The drive from NJ to the top of NY state had them happy to be out of the car. 
Goose gave me a piggyback ride so i returned the favor.

Um, yeah and some bands played.
So seriously, since nothing is more grindcore than a good piggyback ride, we at superfashionchic  recommend getting one from Goose, he's good, if somewhat finicky: apparently my supposed "lack of actual hips" was making my bro have a hard time getting comfy up on my back.  I was just happy from getting a piggyback myself, which is ALL TOO RARE the older you get.

So anyway, after Irradiated Beef, some of the other bands were: Crush Bastard System, Ninja Death Squad, (the) Wards, Gorehammer, Candy Striper Death Orgy and Layton Avenue.  A brief Breakdown:
Crush Bastard System: i thought these kids were a local High Scool band, but it turns out they have a split w/Ninja Death Squad.  The drummer was fun to watch, but they kinda weren't really my thing.
Ninja Death Squad had the most original sound, by virtue of their having actual ARRANGEMENTS to their songs, the sings and was pretty good too.  The guitar player had a sonic youth shirt on, and it was obvious from his playing that he actually listened to them.  They were actually sorta ok.
The Wards were rad, as they seriously were super old, apparently they were a VT hardcore/punk band in the early 80's.  So it was sorta like a strange reunion show, of sorts.  Plattsburgh's Jay O sat in on bass, and they could actually play some of their songs!  They were super old and really funny to watch.  I bailed when the singer took off his leather vest and shirt, but not before i nabbed one of the free 7"s they were giving away, from 1982 even. My favorite tune of theirs was "Nympho", it goes like this: "Nympho! Nympho! Nympho!".  Those guys were like 50.
I had promised myself I'd sit through Gorehammer's incredible metal set (o, and i DO mean metal), which i held true to, just i did it sitting in the innertube drinking beer with the team like 30 yards away.  The photo below is the team enjoying Gorehammer the only way we knew how.
Let me tell you about Candy Striper Death Orgy, semifashionEJ comes running into the 946 and said, in his excited way, something akin to "Bro, rock, the horns, Bro!!!".  I took this to mean that i had to see them, and let me tell you fucking what: if you grew up on thrash, like 80s Exodus/Megadeth/etc thrash you would seriously love CSDO.  They just kept coming with seriously the BEST thrash riffs you probably heard before but can't place.  Goose started doing the 3/4 Fist of Justice (low ceiling) and the Sissor Kick, he just fucking lost it.  I bet semifashionEJ wished for his metal hair or a wig.  The horns were definately up the whole fucking time.  The singer said, and i basically quote "let's just call the the thrash room",  refering to THE GARAGE!  They had a song called "Start The War" about desert storm and i think like all their songs were about war, nuclear war and television evangelism.  It was like going back in time and going to the sort of shows i would have loved to see when i was 10.  Absolutely Fun!  Big ol'grin.
Layton Avenue closed the day, even though they aren't really grind, they have turned into a crazy metal explosion, i'll say that.  Unfortunately the boys apparently hadn't been able to practice for awhile, so they only played 4 songs.  Bummer, they also made up for internal scheduling conflicts with volume of the sort that makes your eyes bleed and makes the drums inaudible.  Those guys have some fucking AMPS let me tell you.  Layton Avenue always make me happy their new stuff is nothing short of sick.  Sick.  Buy their cd.

So anyway, everyone had a super good time at the BBQ and the 946 crew just signed another year lease, so there are plans to do the Q again next summer.  It could be a lotta fun and destruction, based on the time all the kids seemed to have this year.  Fucking Go 946!  I'm totally tired of typing now

actually, it was a BRO-B-Q