A crippling blow is dealt to teens and adults nationwide every year. Creeping to their doorstep every October 31: the horrific realization that they can no longer go door to door, wearing a costume and screaming trick or treat, running like demons loosed from hell. On the off chance some poor soul attempts this, they will only be met with angry parents asking, Arent you too old for this? Instead, teens take part in the savage pursuit of stealing bags of candy from unsuspecting little kids, putting poop on someones doorstep, or attending some lame school dance. Even more terrible are the options left for adults! At this point, you attend an office party, or, and God rest your soul if this is your fateDO NOTHING AT ALL. These prospects will not do. An informal survey conducted by Halloween Online Magazine found 65 percent of adults where in fact, in favor of celebrating the holiday. The true spirit of Halloween does not leave us with the onset of puberty. It is in our hearts always and forever. Friends, Goats, Superfashioneers, I give you Ten Fabulous Ways to Celebrate the Spirit of Halloween while Looking Damn Swank!

Theres nothing quite like high adventure and noble pursuit of a legendary monster to unleash the spirit of Halloween. Im talking about the Bigfoot, a giant, hairy, ape-like creature roaming the forests of North America. The journey only requires a trip to a nearby wooded area, any decent-sized backyard will do. I recommend at least two people for this mission, so if the beast mauls one of you, the other can live to tell the fantastic tale to their friends. Dress bold folks, because its hunting season, and being shot is NO FUN. I recommend a bright top. But avoid stripes! The creature may mistake you for his prey, again no fun. Bring out those hot pink flash pants women! Men, sci-fi chic is perfect here. Those bright silvers and the space helmet will serve to confuse Bigfoot, and so you may catch a quick photo before he dashes away.

Shiver me timbers! No one can resist the excitement of being a pirate. This can be a solo mission or you can gather your friends and start a search party. Grab that metal detector you got at a kid and tossed in the closet after one sweep of the backyard. Or perhaps harness the psychic powers your strange Aunt possesses. We all have at least one. A popular treasure area is the beach or local football field. Now the pirate look is vital for this one, don your puffy shirt, and let those facial piercings fly!

Get hold of a video camera. If you cant get one from friends, go to your local rent-a-thingies and hook it up! The possibilities are endless for this one, but I have two recommendations: FAKE BLOOD and SCREAMING WOMEN. This stuff is the bomb! Mix up a bucket of blood with some red food coloring and any thick liquid. Combine these ingredients and splash it all over everything! Scream away girls, and we have instant terror. Also, every horror film needs a mad scientist. Wear your black-framed glasses and spockrock haircuts proud. Emo-kids, this is your moment to shine!

The truth is out there, and finding it is half the fun! Pick a spot in town away from bright lights. This can be especially romantic so bring that lovely youve been giving the eye all week. Grab a blanket and search the skies. Remember to look sharp. This isnt the time for that zebra-striped mini. Itll only frighten our visitors. The Mod look is perfect. Show the spacemen how spiffy we humans can be, and maybe theyll give you a free spin on their interstellar mopeds.

No Halloween is complete without the music of the original Misfits. Grab some pals, find a car with a sound system, pop in such classics as Astrozombies, I turned into a Martian, or We Bite, and cruise the town. For best results, paint a screaming skull on your face. If youre particularly daring, fashion your hair into the infamous Devilok.

Here we have classic Halloween fun for the whole family. Make your way to the local graveyard late into the evening. Go to dead center of the yard, and just sit. Think about the fact that the dead surround you. Corpses rot below your feet, slowly being eaten away by maggots and other such creatures. For this one a simple hoody will make sure your warm. If your lucky, maybe some strange drunk will make his way into the yard, and attempt to summon the Goat, (hey it happens). Prepare for terror.

This is the most noble of our Halloween adventures. A great way to keep the spirit alive is to defend kids from the dark forces out to ruin their night. The fun-seeking children of Halloween are constantly under attack by the neighborhood bullies. Eggs are flying, and candy bags are disappearing. Time to dress up as your favorite hero, whether it is Mr. T, My Little Pony, or your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. No need to engage the young punks raising the ruckus, just stand guard. If one of the ratfinks attempts an incursion, scream like that kid standing next to you at every hard-core show that must prove that he knows every word to every song by screaming them in your ear. Now that is horror.

When isnt a great time for a fashion show? Set up the runway, set the mood with some creepy music. Soundtracks are fine specimens; think the Exorcist or Twin Peaks. Proper lighting is important. Disco lights can be particularly terrifying. Go all out here with the fashions; nothing is too much on Halloween. Watch Vampira strut her stuff with the Mummy close behind. Make sure there are enough Bloody Marys for everyone now!

When isnt a great time for a fashion show? Set up the runway, set the mood with some creepy music. Soundtracks are fine specimens; think the Exorcist or Twin Peaks. Proper lighting is important. Disco lights can be particularly terrifying. Go all out here with the fashions; nothing is too much on Halloween. Watch Vampira strut her stuff with the Mummy close behind. Make sure there are enough Bloody Marys for everyone now!

This one has great potential, but takes resolve. A large group is vital for this exercise, so get your entire group of friends together. Pick two people to dress in 50s attire: seamed nylons for the women and black-rimmed glasses for the fellas. The rest of you find some old cloths and really beat the heck out of them. Put some gunk all over your faces, (once again fake blood is great), and chase these two all over town as in George Romeros classic film. Most important here, DO NOT BREAK CHARACTER.
If youre lucky, the bunch of you will scare the crap out of the whole town, and have a ball doing it. Think of it as community service.
So, there you have it, ten ways to fight the cycle of Halloween oppression. Go forth true believers, let the spirit of Halloween be with you!