Emo
Gash Versus 80s Metal Chix [yes thats C-H-I-X]
OK so maybe
I am disgruntled with being unable to find a grrlfriend lately [always accepting applications], but it seems that every gal
I talk to on MakeOutClub [we all do, don't deny it you lame ass muthahfukkahs] is lame. REAL lame. Lame in the music they
front, lame in the homogenized style they sport, and lame in the attitude department to boot. So instead of thinking it's
my fault [yeah, right read Why I am Cooler Than You] superfashionclaude thought it would be WAY more worthwhile to get drunk
and talk shit. Thus you see this article before you.
Today we will be exploring the interesting dynamic that trends are cyclic and that for all the moving forward of female
empowerment ladies in "tough" music scenes remain at the status of coat hangers, speaker rats and [the ever fun and ever more
slutty] groupie with regards to shows. BUYA! In the heyday of arena rock/cock rock/hair metal we had the Rock Chix.
The ever clichéd person we now joke about when watching old hair metal bands. They were abundant and nameless [kinda like
the KISS Army]; they flocked to shows en masse and ended up as just another status symbol. Oh, what a legacy they left! After
that gals would NEVER do such heinous things [think of that story of Led Zeppelin, the groupie and the shark] or be such blatant
accessories to the vanguard of something so foolish as male machismo: Right? Oh well- just go to ANY hardcore/emo/punk show
and know that theory can be tossed out the window. Perhaps there is an air around emo gash [no pun intended] that makes them
so annoying yet desirable. The tragic thing gets REAL old, REAL fast, but we keep after them in hopes of something (butt sex?).
Who knows [well besides semifashionEJ, another story for another day youngins]? Regardless, I think we are all waiting
for the tragic emo gal thing to wear thin and to be just as funny and clichéd [and dare I say Ironic] in about 7 years
as the poodle hair of decades past.
You think I am wrong? Let me just note a few examples for y'all.
1988
VERSUS 2003
Dyed Hair
Peroxide Blonde
Black [as
your tragic soul]
Jean Jackets
Acid Wash
Pre-faded
Footwear
High Top Sneakers
Racing Stripe
Sneakers
Shirts
WAY too tight band tee
Way too tight
band tee
[often of the exact same bands, how IRONIC!]
Pants
Tight; Acid
wash jeans
Tight; Pre-faded
jeans
"It" Place to Hang out
Bars [that don't ID]
Coffee shops [cause they don't ID]
Purse
Large as EJ's dick
Side Bag
Bandana
Around neck
Back Pocket
Headbands
Hold back their mane of hair
Hold hair back from bangs
"In" Look
Not from the Trailer Park
Not from
the Suburbs
Tattoos
Roses, unicorns, butterflies, hearts
Butterflies, stars, flowers, broken hearts
Hot Band to Listen To
Rush
Coheed and Cambria
Bangs
Yup.
Yup.
Bracelets
Jelly Bracelets
Spiked Arm Bands
OR
Spiked Arm Bands Jelly Bracelets
How to get 'popular'
Be a groupie Dump your cool boyfriend for an asshole band member
Sensitive Songs
'November Rain' 'Screaming Infidelities'
Fashion Belts
At least 2 extra and spiky
At least 2
extra and white
Dudes you want that look like gals
Nelson Twins
Davey Havoc
Skirts
Mini - leather
Mini - pleather
Earrings
Big hoops
Big plugs
Band you dont listen to
Anthrax
Anthrax
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