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The Secret Subtleties of Fast Food

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honestly, this bro will stab you in the FACE

The Jeff offers some incite from the working class, and not in your coffeeshop/indie record store way.

What's up? Today I am going to talk about the fast food industry and how NOT to act while there. Being a patron AND a current worker of four years in a fast food establishment, there are many things that I notice that normal people wouldn't. And what I see pisses me off to no end!

that'll be one angina and one colonscopy

1. Be Polite
Shit man, most people have trouble with this one as soon as the enter the door. They think that this job is the easiest job in the world. Truth is it isn't. I have managers, coworkers and customers yelling at me and yelling at each other, it is like stupid in surround sound. Most people tend to think that we are perfect machines and that when we fuck up, it is rare and should be handled with being loud and obnoxious and as idiotic as George W. Bush. I am just as human as you, and my co worker is too. So fuck off. We make mistakes just like you do, I mean look at your parents and realize that you were THEIR mistake, so don't point out mine. I don't go around pointing out the fact that the top of people's heads are pushed in due to being hit by the tip of their father's penis

2. Be Nice
I really can't stress this one enough right now. Dickhead customers come in thinking they are the shit when they are just cheap bastards who wanted some quick food. Motherfucker, I have not the time nor patience to deal with fuckwads. People like this seriously piss me off.

this fool was not kind to The Jeff

3. Don't Anger Us
You wouldn't like us when we are angry. Stress levels in fast food are through the roof. mine is at a constant 11 out of 10. I have no qualms about fucking people's faces up, hell, maybe I will make you look prettier. Seriously, i hate people. I am amazed I am not agoraphobic. Through this job, I have realized that people in general are idiots and can't do shit for themselves. I have also realized that i am going to kill alot of people in the near future if i don't get out of this job. Although my coworkers are semi-cool, not like my bros who are mad cool, this job would kill any normal person. I piss vinegar and burn down houses for fun. I seriously don't care anymore about human life. And this goes for all fast food employees. We don't care about others, and we don't care about fucking shit up. All the other employees of fast food i have met are just as pissed and angry.

This is pretty much it, for now. Be polite, be nice, and don't anger us. We are probably the most dangerous people in mankind right now, due to the fact that this job sucks as much as your mom.

yes, you would go beserker too

Might we recommend Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser.