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How to be a Luchadore with Style

Bro of the month, hop on it ladies

Goose explains things you always wanted to know about, but were to Emo to address in public because of your broken heart and your chucks were untied...

            So youre asking yourself right now "Goose, whats a luchadore?" Why should I care, after all I am individual and as such I should not cave into peer pressure from anyone to like anything.  After all that is an honest and well-meaning thing to say-  I mean after all, who but you has an  ironic belt buckle, nice dark jeans, a few well-placed tattoos, and listens to emo/hardcore/punk? Of course you did this entirely first and that is exactly why you should be catching onto this quicker then you can say "I saw (insert name of chic band here) before they put out an ep". As your guide and resident luchatologist I will guide you through this process:


            First pick your name. Nothing says Luchadore more then a good name. While a good IM name might be something to work from, names such as StarBoy763 have gotta go. No self-respecting man would use such a name in the hallowed square circle that the Luchadore calls home. Use a name that will invoke the character that you want to embody; just remember that your mask and body suit theme will have to go along with your name, if possible. There are some exceptions but they prove the rule true as their masks and their matches are completely ignoseous. For the purposes of this article I will name said character ElGooso666.


Now onto my favorite part, the mask. Realistically, this really isn't needed, but quite frankly is the coolest part of the entire sport. After all what would we have if emo kids didnt have those glasses? Just a bunch of Goth kids in baby blue shirts, well, umm, not really but you get my point. Accessories are key even in the fine sport of lucha libre (Mexican style wrestling). So we got the name ElGooso666, you're asking yourself now A) Goose youve really lost it or B) What can you put on a mask to make it seem like this persona. Well there are many options to this answer. These options include screens covering the eyes so that they have a bug eyed screened over look, horns and spikes (of any type your silly little brain can think of), color, and designs you can think of. Full, , , and ones just covering your eyes are also optional. Now heres what Id do, none of that Nancy boy pastel craps on this rudo. Pure black base for this full mask, not only is black evil but it also looks good with just about any other color. Directly on the front a big red pentagram, nothing screams evil and/or bored 10th grader then a pentagram. On the side add some horns while I am at it. Nothing says badass like a good set of horns.

out of the night cometh elgooso666

 See this man right here?  He knows exactly what I am talking about. Just like a good belt buckle, a good pair of horns can really make that fashionable difference.


            Next on the agenda is a body suit: this is a predicament that has plagued Luchadore for decades. On the one hand body suits can look bad- its kind of like a sweater, as it can either set off that look you are going for or throw off all that hard work that you did to look good for the show, after all what is a showfor,  if not for looking good?  A body suit should be a good accompaniment to the mask. It should enhance the mask while at the same time not overpowering it. Like a wine it is supposed to enhance the meat not take center stage. In conclusion I decided to go with the body suit. You may be asking yourself Goose, why the body suit? Why not show off your skinny fat body or maybe even get into shape. Well there is a simple answer to this; I plan on spending all my time after the show drinking cheap tequila with my lucha-bros.

some of the superfashionteam at your mom's house

See these men right here?  You think they work out? Heck no, they're only here because they left their tequila in the workout room the night before. So a bodysuit is gonna have to be mandatory. I'm thinking of keeping the black as a base color theme, its slimming you know, and after all the cheap tequila I am gonna be drinking I am gonna need it. I'm also thinking of some skull shoulder pads (yeah I said that and I mean it). Shoulder pads that are shaped exactly like skulls. In the front a big pentagram made out of war hammers, kind of like Slayer but instead of just a plain average sword (I am going for the war hammer look). (Editors note: Vikings will be the new pirates, and with this look all the kids that change their IM name to XxTHORxX will be so jealous) Next up is the back of my suit and Ive got that more then covered. Silver barbwire spelling out the name ElGooso on top and on the bottom another row with matching barbwire lettering of the number 666. How could I have forgot blood coming out the barbwire letters and numbers, and LOTS of it? Nothing says evil and/or ink on an old metalhead like a barbwire and blood combo. And finally the stretch pants to set off the outfit. I am thinking of going with a black base again. On either side a line running down the side of red pentagrams. To top this all off a skull cod piece. "Isn't this a little excessive?" you may ask. H-E-C-K no I say. If people can have buckles that are the size of a small dishes and be cool, then I can have a skull codpiece, gosh darn it all.


            On to the final piece of apparel, that being the boots, this part is crucial my comrades. Just like you have suffered to put together that special outfit with the correct pair of shoes so haven't. I tried to tie together this special outfit with the right pair of boots, and I think I have came up with the perfect solution. Black boots with skulls (on fire) on each side wrapped in barbwire. After all nothing is cooler then the color black, skulls, barbwire, and fire.


            The final touches. MUSIC. This is what will define you when you come to the ring, what will help the people decide whether they like you or not. Just imagine your MOC profile but narrow it down to one song- yes it is that difficult. I'm going with Highway To Hell, right here. Good song, goes along with the theme, and takes long enough for me to get down to the ring and take off my robe.  Yeah, I said that and I mean it I am having a robe, well actually a cloak. Its going to be black with flames coming up about of the way with my name written in the center of it. Nothing is more evil (and/or laughable) then a cloak. When I think cloak I think EVIL, in that I play as a chaotic evil priest on a Thursday night type of way, and darnit I am gonna be a chaotic evil priest if we can ever start playing D&D on a more regular basis.


            Oh, the part about training and what style a Luchadore wrestles in, to HECK with that. This is a fashion site and not an actual wrestling site. But I will give you a hint. It involves chain wrestling and there is in fact psychology but the psychology is off from what a person that is only used to the American style will be looking for.

yes, i know the layout is funny and i might fix it sooner or later, but frankly i'm half-naked and partially on fire.